Last night was the premiere of Hannah Brown’s season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette.” I’ll be honest out of all the bachelorettes she isn’t my favorite. So I have a feeling I am going to struggle watching it this season. But then again there may just be enough drama to keep my attention. Hannah did promised that she’s done being the “emotional trainwreck” of a former pageant queen that you saw on the last season of “The Bachelor”… she’s showing her “true self” this season to look for “the one.”…
Now, things kicked off with a bang – and with a good dose of drama, too, thanks to the one guy who Hannah sent home for having a girlfriend. Here’s what happened:
Chris Harrison kicked things off by doubling down on how unique of a Bachelorette Hannah is. According to him, we’ve never seen a “sincere,” “totally honest,” “tell it like it is,” Bachelorette like her before.
Even though she’s known as a beauty queen, she proved she’s a little different by being totally awkward in the “how we got here” montage. She didn’t know what to do with her hands in in some shots, and couldn’t nail a graceful “walking through a wheat field” shot without laughing. To be honest how many of us could do that either lol.
Before her 30 suitors got a chance to shine, we heard about 100 more times how unique Hannah is. At that point I just got up and refilled my glass of wine.
Then, the men vying for Hannah’s heart finally started rolling out. You can check out more detailed profiles HERE.
First up was Garrett. Being a golf pro, he made sure to make pretty much the only golf pun available: “I want to be your hole-in-one.” Classic.
Next was Mike, who has a killer smile. He lives by the “five C’s”: Character, Charm, Charisma, Consistency, and Compassion. Because who doesn’t love a good mnemonic device?
Not only does Jed not have a job (okay, he’s a “singer/songwriter”), he showed up without socks on. While he was underdressed, Dylan showed up a little too done up in a white dinner jacket.
There were some Colton Underwood jokes made. Connor S made a goofy entrance by jumping a fence, and Devin admitted he’s a virgin… “to this experience,” that is.
John Paul Jones really wants people to call him by his full name.And his job title? “John Paul Jones.”
Joe “The Box King” made his entrance by jumping out of a box filled with packing peanuts, telling Hannah, “this package isn’t complete without you!” Who’s going to clean that up?
Grant took an interesting route with his pick-up line, showing up with a mouthful of hot dogs and saying, “It’s a sausage party tonight.” By the way, producers simply labeled him “unemployed.” We can see why…
The puns didn’t end there! Jonathan showed up with pizza and offered Hannah a “pizza my heart.” (We see what you did there, Jonathan.) Kevin dropped an armful of footballs and joked that he “fumbled” his introduction… groan. And Chasen gave Hannah a paper airplane that signified that their relationship was “about to take off.” Peter one-upped him by showing up in a full pilot’s uniform… because he’s literally a pilot.
Matt Donald earned the nickname “Old” Matt Donald by showing up in a tractor and singing, “Here’s a bro, there’s a bro, everyone’s a bro bro.”
After the limo exits, Hannah said a little prayer before entering the mansion. She got to mingle with the guys… and Jed was that guy who brings his guitar to the party and starts singing.
That’s when Hannah, with the help of “Bachelor” alums Demi and Katie, did some sleuthing and figured out that Scott the software salesman had a girlfriend waiting for him at home. Apparently, he had promised his girl that they’d “be together when this is all over” – so Hannah made sure he delivered on that promise early! But not until they had a blowout confrontation, of course.
Hannah did some crying by the pool and then got comforted by Luke. He earned the third kiss of the night, and the First Impression rose, too.
The first kiss of the night went to Cam the rapper, and the second went to Connor S.
Then it was time for the rose ceremony. The guys sent home were Old Matt Donald, Brian, Chasen, Hunter, The Box King, Ryan and Thomas – that leaves 22 suitors for “not just a beauty queen anymore” Hannah.